15 December 2009
With age comes responsibilities.
And with too much responsibilities, priorities compels.
Evidently, as much as i understand my own list, i haven't been heeding them as I should.
It seems like I've been waiting for the new year so as to list these changes as a form of resolution, since it serves I've been urging for 2010 to come.
But I should know better, it's no form of excuse.
Maybe a year ago, when I could use 'school' as a form of reasoning to myself, that I was doing something with my life, despite the fact I entirely hated what I was doing.
Now that I've graduated 7 MONTHS AGO, there hasn't been any other justification to my time spent besides teaching open classes at studios, teaching corporate classes, teaching a children's home, joining endless competitions, and wasted half the time on a 'project' that I have nil concerns about anymore.
How do you take into account for someone who...
-wants to achieve her Associate Diploma in ISTD Modern and Tap in August 2010
-wants to open a dance studio in April 2010
-is going to take over her teacher's school of ISTD Modern and Tap students in January 2010
-wants to achieve her RAD Teacher's Certification after 2010
-is going to start teaching at YMCA in January 2010
-wants to be a loving daughter, grand-daughter, sister
yet...
-doesn't seem to SERIOUSLY UNDERSTAND that responsibilities given needs to be sought through
-haven't fully memorised the ISTD Modern and Tap Grades Syllabus
-haven't been going for ballet classes, OR ANY CLASSES
-doesn't go home early, hardly sees her family, or visits her grandmother
-and doesn't sleep UNLESS it's past 5 in the morning, even if she has NOTHING to do.
For the weight of things I've challenged myself with, this is a cold hard slap on the face.
And if there's anyone i'd be mad at, it'll be myself.
We only live once, and i can't afford to look back later, and start pondering the "what ifs..."
Syam believes I've always had an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is everything i do.
But with Life in general, I think OCD just hit.
And I have 2 weeks to sort my shit out, to set a proper closure.
Before 2010 crashes it's way in.
>
you'll see right through me... @
2:23:00 AM
29 September 2009
If Gravity defines the weight of all problems...
i want to be weightless...
because Gravity is no longer a mindless child,
but a defiant juvenile, tugging the ends of my waist strap,
denying my free fall.
If Gravity defines the weight of all problems...
I want to be invisible...
or if Gravity would be blind.
So we'd pass each other like strangers,
then maybe Life wouldn't be so hard to live.
But if Gravity is the definition of the weight of all problems...
I'll have to comply.
Because without Gravity...
there is no Life.
>
you'll see right through me... @
3:11:00 PM
14 August 2009
One shouldn't expect the expected.
The more one has the assumption that life will always unfold the way they suppose, it is more likely they never do.
Life don't feed on perfection, it feeds on mistakes.
Chances are we make the wrong turns most of the time...
But it's the wrong turns that sequentially leads us to haven.
At least the worse has subsided...
...Or at least I hope the worse has. Insy'Allah...
and that it'll all pick up from here.
It's a step forward, but this step served as a mile to my Dad.
And I'm thankful enough.
Alhamdulillah. =)
On a livelier note, big thanks to Nidya and Nanep for accompanying me to Joo Chiat Complex the other day. If not for both my sweet adiks, Dudu and i would have been doomed to wear tailor-made curtains for Hari Raya in spite of the fact I got to choose the kain and whatnots myself.
Next step is to master Kueh Dadar, Hot Milk Sponge Cake, Beef Rendang... before Bulan Puasa. I have 8 days people. I think i shall start with Kueh Dadar tomorrow. =)
Both SICK and Styles From Beyond got into the semi finals of Dance Crown of Honour. Which actually does not feel that big a deal as it should because most of the teams got in, but nonetheless we're immensely grateful for the opportunity given and i'm sure it'll be an amazing trip. Not to mentioned we're put in the same bus as the boys to Genting. I will say a silent prayer for our driver.
It's been awhile since i found the time, or the thoughts to pen down... so everything is basically spat out on this entry. =p
>
you'll see right through me... @
10:35:00 AM
07 August 2009
I smell the air of Ramadhan advancing...
This year's Hari Raya colours for Dudu and i are Baby Blue and Pearl White. =D
>
you'll see right through me... @
4:21:00 AM
30 July 2009
One moment more...>
you'll see right through me... @
3:11:00 AM
20 July 2009
finding our own getaway... =D
>
you'll see right through me... @
11:23:00 AM
08 July 2009
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile
>
you'll see right through me... @
3:59:00 AM
16 June 2009
scrutinize...>
you'll see right through me... @
11:57:00 AM
11 June 2009
What constitutes a perfect relationship?
As many attempt to affirm Love's definition, and hope that finding the answer is the key to happiness again, I believe it's really all perceptive.
Love alone cannot sustain the entire weight of a relationship.
Even 'Romeo & Juliet, the archetype of all greatest loves, ended in calamity.
As Love is the sole driving force of a relationship, just as the heart is to a human body, a body cannot live on just one organ alone.
A relationship inevitably needs to feed on other elements.
Honesty.
To always be true to the other party, speak the truth, and be truthful to yourself.
With Honesty comes Trust.
To allow freedom and individual space.
With Trust allows Communication.
To share personal issues sometimes not meant for everyone else.
With Communication forms Love.
To learn to love another for his/her inner self.
With Love attaches Selflessness.
To be willing to sacrifice, and never be calculative.
And with Selflessness it links back to Honesty.
Where u don't have to pretend to be anybody else, but yourself.
Its the mid year, and 2009 hasnt been particularly favourable to many couples I know.
Maybe it's because having too many questions....
... only ends you questioning the Love you share?
Happy one monthsary baby. I'll see you after work! =D
>
you'll see right through me... @
5:55:00 PM
04 June 2009
it doesn't stop me...>
you'll see right through me... @
2:07:00 AM
